Blurred Lines….

Is it just me or is online dating getting harder? I feel like I’m pulling teeth right now just to get a conversation flowing with someone.

Sherlock has dropped off the face of the textual universe. I mean I can see he’s been online but not messaging me I’m not going to chase it. The ball is in his court… he ghosts me any longer it can bloody stay there! I’m sure someone else has come along which is fine but good gay god just tell me that. We went from all day messages to nothing! Like why?! For my own sanity I need to make sure I don’t keep getting too invested prior to meeting as I’m going to start struggling to come up with blogging aliases for these assholes!

Perhaps I’m missing some male perspective to dating? In fact now I think about it I miss having anyone to talk to about dating. My friends are all married or in long term relationships. It used to be fun telling them about my antics but now it’s just getting embarrassing. Wedding season is around the corner and I have become the friend that doesn’t get a plus one and is put on the single table. Next to the “perfect for you” guy who is likely to get on my tits in the metaphorical unfun way… its painful.

In more positive sexy news…Big Daddy and I are in a FWB agreement, my loins are very happy about this! He has vocalised that he can’t commit time to me, his children are his top priority, I wouldn’t expect anything less. His living situation is far from ideal and it’s only a matter of time before it becomes an issue.. for him or his ex, it wouldn’t be right to either of us to try to be in a relationship. It would be destined to fail.

A FWB set up is probably the best thing for me right now. It gives me time to lick my wounds, gives me the comfort of not feeling completely alone and also stops me from being a textual slut with any new matches, it’s something I am working on as it’s not sending the right message. I’m getting my kicks from an Adonis who is a wizard with his tongue… my sexual needs are very much being met so therefore I’m less like a bitch on heat!

BD has said that ideally he would like to meet at least once a week if not more… I told him that a fixed schedule makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Like… Yoga on Mondays… Boxing on Tuesdays… sex with BD on Wednesdays… it’s just not my style. I would also get bored. Routine makes me restless! He told me that being a parent routine is a big part but he understood and that we could just go a little more with the flow.

Now you would think that this would make things clear and defined… we know exactly where things are!

Ha have you read my insane ramblings before?! Of course there are blurred lines! However for once it’s not me!…..It’s not me! It’s him!

For example, the emotional lines are blurred, he text me to say he was not looking for anyone else and he was “enjoying this thing with us”. I am not sure if he was fishing for me to say the same. The comment was pretty out of the blue and I assume a little alcohol was involved. If he was fishing I didn’t take the bait, we were clear that this was an open arrangement. He’s since said the same things a couple more times. I have said that I could see how his busy schedule to make it difficult to continue dating. Ok I could of said “ok but just to remind you I am still dating”. But I didn’t I’m going to have to do this face to face.

The second example is he has spent the whole of last week messaging me that he missed me, not just for sex but my company (I shit you not! He literally said that) it all caught me a little off guard. He told me all he could think about being with me… asked if we could spend some “normal time together” at the cinema or to get food… he even mentioned a trip away in Europe. I said some time outside of the bedroom would be nice. We get on amazingly so of course I would want to spend time just hanging out.

He then joked that he had to stop as he was sounding too “relationshippy” but he would keep reverting back to saying how much he wants to be with me. I’m putting this all down to the honeymoon stage of the whole thing. Or perhaps my nonchalant attitude is making him more keen… who knows?!

I know that things with him are not long term. I also can understand why he said he wasn’t into seeing other people, he’s into a pretty cushty set up. He has regular sex with no commitment and I am putting zero pressure on him. I need to remind him that I am still actively seeking someone to be in a committed relationship with. I’m not prepared to be a scheduled fuck forever.

I’m just not sure how long it is until something does become an issue and the house of cards crashes. Something has to give, how long until someone gets jealous? And more to the point who will buckle first?! Me…. him… his ex? Place your bets now!

So back to the swiping front as already ranted Sherlock is AWOL, things with The Good Guy are pretty stale. I have two others “regulars” I’m chatting to but I’m not going to go into much until there’s a date or something worth writing about!

Im getting annoyed that the men sliding all up in my DMs are dull I doubt will come to anything. Some have been painfully dull talking to. One word answers, horrific spelling, sexual innuendos… Is this the lull before valentines or am I being more critical of my matches?

Big Daddy – Friends with Benefits

As promised in my last post I was going to give a bit more of the inside scoop of my most regular squeeze, Big Daddy! At a risk of making him sound like a pornstar I have given him this name because he has three kids and hes built like some sort of Adonis at over 6ft and ripped he is an orgasm for the eyes!

Back in November I reactivated my bumble account. It had been a hard month and emotionally I was broken from the whole debacle with Captain America. I had planned to dip my toe back in and just see what was out there. I didn’t want to be jumping back in and not being ready. I was fragile so the risk of me patching into the first match was high. I didn’t want to risk it!

Big daddy was one of my first matches, I remember seeing one of his profile pictures which was him in a tight black shirt and I remember thinking….. Phwoah! In fact I swore at the phone!

He is great at messaging and was very keen to arrange a date. Unfortunately the fact it was mid November and the chaos of Christmas was kicking in getting a date planned proved nothing short of a nightmare!

The first date I had to cancel due to work and then the following date I had to cancel due to my sister having a surprise visit to London and wanting to meet up… chicks before dicks and all that!

He wasn’t happy but he wasn’t angry. After my second cancellation, I was worried he would get fed up and ditch me but he didn’t. I was pleased I really didn’t want him to stop talking to me as he really did make my day when we chatted. He was just so easy to get on with!

Finally date night came. I was really nervous, my last date was a year ago with Science Guy, my confirnece was gone and I will admit I was still licking my wounds from CA.

We decided to meet in a popular high street restaurant in the town he works in. He hadn’t bothered to travel home after work and had opted to bring a change of clothes with him and wait, I was running late from work so had to message saying I was going to be late, he was fine about it but wanted to confirm I was still actually going to show, I couldn’t blame him I had cancelled twice!

In the end I arrived only 15 mins late to find him waiting outside the restaurant. I’m only 5ft 4 so I spend alot of my time looking up at people!

We headed into the restaurant and like that the we were chatting away. I haven’t laughed so much on a date before! It was like we were old friends catching up. Our personalities just clicked, we have the same sense of humor and spent most of the date joking with one another and picking on each other. So much so the waiter came over and told us a table had complained about the noise we were making… when they were paying the bill?! Who does that?!

Now there are some HUGE red flags with BD which is why he is refereed to by me as my current squeeze and why its unlikely he is ever going to move into Boyfriend status.

• He’s still married and only separated back in June.
• He still lives in the house that he shares with his wife and the kids.
• He doesn’t want to have any more kids – He has three already
• He doesn’t want to marry again.

The latter two are hardly deal breakers but I was taken aback to hear that he still lived with his wife and that they had only recently split. He had told me that I was his second date and the first one this revelation had gone down like a lead balloon. I pointed out that its a little strange to deal with and suggested he should mention this to people before the first date, I mean its not that far fetched to assume that they might get back together.

After our meal we had a walk to see if we could grab a drink elsewhere but everywhere seemed to be closing up for the night so we decided to call it a night and he waited for me to book my uber. When the car arrived it was a little awkward, we had a light peck on the lips and parted ways.

He messaged 10 minutes after we parted ways to say that he had fun and wanted to do something again soon. And we did.

Our next date was in my hometown where we went for an Italian. Again it was an evening of laughter. We decided against going elsewhere after and just headed back to my place, chatting on the sofa quickly moved to the bedroom… things were extremely steamy. Hes very dominant and because hes so much bigger than me he completely over powers me. At one point he had me pinned down to the bed with his head between my legs I swear I nearly passed out! I used to be in awe with how long CA could last in the bedroom but BD is like a bloody Duracell bunny, he just doesn’t stop!

I lost count of the number of times we had sex, I was drunk on orgasms by the time we eventually drifted off to sleep. In the morning I woke to him spooning me and the rest of the morning was sex filled until we reluctantly got up to go have brunch.

That was exactly a month ago and we have spoken everyday either via text or he will call me. Due to scheduling we haven’t seen one another as often as we would like, only the three times one of which was a lunchtime quickie where we both snuck off work to have sex. I was far less productive afterwards!

So although I had my heart broken in 2019, at least it ended with my vagina being happy again!

Let’s get ready to bumble….

I know I haven’t finished the whole story with Captain America just yet, and I will give you all the deets of that car crash in the coming days. I just feel like it would be worth letting you lovely folks know who’s currently sliding all up in my DMs!

So it’s THE WORST time of year to be a female dater. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner – (sigh) that takes me back to that very hot night with CA! – it seems most of the men are in hiding. Well that’s what I’m telling myself anyway!

But I am quite fortunate to have three hotties getting all up in my inbox! Ok one has actually got into my box. The other two still need to get out of my inbox and into a date!

So here’s Bachelor number one!

The Good Guy
The sweetest of the three. He’s got a child and he comes across really caring and I will be honest he doesn’t get me wildly excited when his name flashes up on my phone. I feel a bit meh… but I am a rubbish judge of character and I am not going to allow my past piss poor judgement get in the way of someone because I think they are “too nice” if anything I’m too bloody nice and I deserve someone who is going to treat me nice rather than some sort of sex doll…. OK I still want the latter but I also want the nice bit!

Sherlock
Yes i got myself another uniform! Ok so he’s a detective so doesn’t wear the uniform but he gets to play with hand cuffs! Unlike xxx Sherlock does get me excited when I see his name pop up on my phone. He’s funny, cheeky and FIT! I got a little pickled the other night and stupidly got a textual with him… but I now have seen exactly what he is packing and man he’s packing some heat! The downside is he works a lot so replies are sporadic. He asked to meet me this week but I have my brother visiting

Big Daddy
The man currently keeping my needs met and my god his body…. just thinking about it gets me hot under the collar.
We have been out for dinner twice and had a couple of hook ups… I thought CA was good at long sessions but BD has him beat. He will get his very own post about our encounters as I have alot to tell! In fact my body still aches from last night…. and this morning… and this afternoon!

Right now I am currently using the following apps – Bumble (my go to), Tinder, Hinge and yesterday I signed up to Seeking Arrangements.
The latter I think will help me with being a bit more outspoken for my needs, my experience with CA highlighted that I am a bit of a doormat and am very British in my ways of expressing my feelings… I suppress them! The people who I have interacted with so far have been open and honest and straight to the point and i have returned the favor by doing just that, its actually pretty refreshing!

So there it is, the Single Girl Swiping is back to swiping and hopefully dating! As I have already said I will be posting some of the things that happened during my MIA hiatus, but hopefully I will be able to get back to dates, hopefully not too many bad ones this time!