After my “date” with The Body on Tuesday and my drinks with Science guy on the Wednesday I hadn’t made any plans to do anything over the weekend I needed to work over the so needed to be sure I wasn’t burning the proverbial candle at both ends.
Science guy had already asked me out on the Sunday as we said goodbye on our date, I had told him to check in with me as I really didn’t know how I was going to feel by then and didn’t want to be too tired to be interesting or fun to be around. Sleepy me goes one of two ways… pathetic and child like or mega bitch! He didn’t need to see either of those sides to me!
Captain America was on radio silence as he was heading out to base… I really miss just being able to talk to him. I thought as time went on it would get easier but it isn’t. It was one thing not having him around but the not being able to talk at all was a new level of shite.
The body has also slowed down his messages, I wasn’t surprised. Admittedly I was pissed but not upset. I think it highlighted where I am in terms of how I feel about him. He’s hot, fun to be around but I don’t think anything serious could ever develop between us. That didn’t stop me arranging round two for the Friday night mean who the hell wouldn’t want to recreate that?!
During work on the Friday he messaged confirming times along with a few cheeky messages which had me feeling pretty flustered. I was getting sex flashbacks and considering we were only together for an hour I have been pretty impressed!
Then Friday night came and went… not a word. By 10pm I had gone to bed, I was annoyed. Not a message or anything to say he wasn’t going to be able to make it.
Saturday came… and went and still nothing. I had passed the point of being pissed off and I was now feeling shit. I felt every one of my many many flaws bubble up to the surface of my brain and pop a wave of self loathing and embarrassment.
My assistant picked up on my change of personality and pushed me to tell her what was wrong. So telling her she pointed out I could just message him.
She was right, the likelihood is that he probably went out and got drinks afterwork and then got pissed. Out plans were not until late so it was a possibility. A shit one but better than he was physically revolted by the idea of my body which was my take on it.
So I messaged him. I didn’t mention the fact he was a MIA I just checked in to say hi.
I got a reply pretty quickly with an apology and that he had been at his mums. I’m not sure what that had to do with anything, perhaps he wanted me to pry, perhaps he thought that it was a clear reason… who the hell knows. I said not to worry and then left it.
I am still pissed off, I wouldn’t care if he had cancelled but the no contact was just a bit wanky.